Don't give up
Dear my beloved sister, I've heard all about your problem. I know that it is not a simple problem. However, don't be so desperate. You still have Allah right? You have to believe that "Allah tidak akan pernah memberikan cobaan kepada hambanya melebihi batas kemampuan orang itu". I believe that you can resolve it. whatever you choose, we will support you. I know that talking is easier than doing. However, I can't help you anything. The only one thing I can do is just praying. And I always do it for you. So girl, keep spirit yaaa... Anggap saja ini pelajaran buat kita. Jangan nyeraaaah. Kamu punya masalah yang besar, kamu masih punya Tuhan yang lebih besar. Semangat kakaaak :3